· I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
· When chemists die, they barium.
· I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
· How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
· I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
· This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
· I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down
· I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
· They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
· PMS jokes aren’t funny; period.
· Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
· We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there’s no pop quiz.
· I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
· Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?
· When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.
· Broken pencils are pointless.
· I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
· What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
· England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool
· I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
· I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
· All the toilets in New York ‘s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
· I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
· Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
· Velcro — what a rip off!
· A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
· Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
· The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government’s fault.
· Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
· Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
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