humour

[1]    No Love Bite
A couple who'd been married for over 50 years was sitting on the sofa, when the wife said, "Dear, do you remember how you used to sit close to me?"

He moved over and sat close to her.

"Dear," she continued, "do you remember how you used to hold me tight?" He reached over and held her tight.

"And," she went on, "do you remember how you used to hug me and kiss me and nibble on my ear?"
With that, her husband got up and started to walk out of the room.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"Well," answered the husband, "I have to get my teeth."


[2]    Travel Specials
A travel agent offered me a 21 day special.

He told me I would fly from New York to London.

Then from Tokyo back to New York.

I asked him.. "How am I supposed to get from London to Tokyo?"
He told me "That is why we give you 21 days."


[3]    Return of Wife
A man talking to his friend about what to do for his 50th wedding
anniversary. The friend asked, "What did you do for your 25th?"

He said, "I took my wife to Hawaii."

The friend then asked, "What are you thinking about for your 50th?" He said, "Well I was thinking of bringing her back."


[4]    Engineers
What's the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?

Mechanical engineers build weapons.

Civil engineers build targets.


[5]    Call Back Later
A woman wanted to reach her husband on his mobile phone but discovered that she was out of credit she instructed her son - to use his own phone to pass across an urgent message to daddy who is at site.

After junior had called, he got back to mummy to inform her that it was a lady that picked up daddy's phone the 3 times he tried reaching dad on the mobile. (Women!!)

She waited impatiently for her husband to return from site,
immediately she sighted him, she gave him a very hot slap,
while the man was trying to ask why?

She repeated the slap, people from neighborhood rushed around to know the cause of this.

The man asked junior to tell everybody what the lady said to him when he called, junior said "the number you are Trying To call Is not Reachable At The Moment. Please Try Again Later".


[6]    Wish Comes True
A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband
leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.

The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she
leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband
was stunned for a while but then smiled  "It really works ! "

TimePass

Jokes ...
1. Sardar comes back 2 his car & finds a note saying "Parking Fine"
He writes a note and sticks it 2 pole "Thanks 4 d complement"


2 .How do you recognize a Sardar in School? He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

3. Once a Sardar was walking and had a glove on one hand and not on other so the man asked him why did he do so? He replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.

4. Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Amritsar , where he lived, to Jalandar to meet his friend. He reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he didn't reach in the evening and not the next day either. When he finally reached home on the third day, his distraught mother ran and asked him " Arre Puttar, ki hoya?"
The Sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, "Oy, ye Marutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaate hain, aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik?"


5. Teacher: Can you tell me something about Raja Ram Mohan Roy?
Saradji: They were 4 best friends..!



6. Sardar to Shopkeeper: - Mujhe India Ka Flag Dikhao, Shopkeeper ne Flag
Dikhaya, Sardar: - Isme aur Colour Dikhao.




7. How can a Sardar Kill a Lion? Sardarji thinks N thinks hard & comes to a conclusion: I'll drink poison n let lion eat me. O' bolo ta ra ra.


9. Sardar : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying.... When a Person asked what he was doing.... He replied... Oye!! Higher Studies Yaar...!!!


10. Sardar with a new mobile called everyone from his Phone Book & said "My MobileNo. has changed Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now it is 6610"



11. Sardar falls in Love with Nurse. He writes a Love letter to her, " I LOVE U SISTER."



12. What is Common between: Krishna , Ram, Gandhi ji & Jesus..?
Sardar ji Replied: All are born on Government Holidays.



13. Santa : That Cow is a Lovely Colour ,
Farmer : Yes, it's a Jersey
Santa: Oh, I thought it was its Skin...!!!

14. Sardar Son: O God! Please make New York the capital of Punjab .
Sardar: Why are you praying for that?
Sardar Son: That is what I have written in my exam.

KOOOOOOOL FACTS !!!... must to read..

IF YOU yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have
produced
>enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
>(Hardly seems worth it.)
>
>If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is
produced
>to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
>(Now that's more like it!)
>
>The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the
body
to
>squirt blood 30 feet.
>(O.M.G.!)
>
******A pig's orgasm
>lasts 30 minutes.
>(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
>
>A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves
to
>death. (Creepy.)
>(I'm still not over the pig.)
>
>Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour
>(Don't try this at home,maybe at work)
>
>The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached
to
its
>body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
>("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")
>
>The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human
jumping
the
>length of a football field.
>(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
>
>The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
>(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
>
>Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
>(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)
>
>Butterflies taste with their feet.
>(Something I always wanted to know.)
>
>The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
>(Hmmmmmm......)
>
>Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than
left-handed
>people.
>(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
>
>Elephants are the only
>animals that cannot jump.
>(okay, so that would be a good thing)
>
>A cat's urine glows under a black light.
>(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
>
>An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
>(I know some people like that.)
>
>
>Starfish have no brains
>(I know some people like that too.)
>
>Polar bears are left-handed.
>(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)
>
>
>Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
>(What about that pig??)

funny shayaris....

Mausam ki Bahaar acchi ho
pholoo ki kaliya kachhi ho
hamari yeh dosti sachi ho
bas yeh dua hai BHAGWAN se
mere dost ki biwi acchi ho

------------------------------

---------------------------


Ab hum haseeno ka didar nahi karte
aisa nahi ki hum unse pyar nahi karte
darte hai kharcha bekaabo na ho jaye
kahin mohabaat par bhi VAT laagu na ho jaye


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E dost tu b likha kar shayari
meri tarah tera bhi naam ho jaye ga
Log fhekenge Ande tamatar
To Shaam Ki Sabji Ka Intezaam Ho Jaye Ga

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jab jab hum ne chaha tab tab tum jaage,
jab jab hum ne chaha tab tab tum jaage,
kyuki tumare ghar ki ghanti hum hi baja kar bhage.........


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Kudrat ne jab tume banaya hoga
TOTAL Confusion ka mahol chaya hoga
banana hoga Gadha ya Bandar
Phir dono ka COMBINATION pasand aaya hoga


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Aap itrate bahut ho
Dil ko behlate bahut ho
sochte hai aap ko DINNER par le jaye
par kya kare ZALIM tum khate bahut ho


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Cherhre par noor hai,
Aankhon Mein Sarror Hai,
Yarr Apni Kisi Saheli se Baat Hi Kara Do!!
Shaadi To Abhi Door HAi


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Har Gali Har Deewar par Tera Hi Naam Hai,
Har Gali Har Deewar par Tera Hi Naam Hai,
har Gali Har Deewar par Tera Hi Naam Hai

Uppar Likha hai Most WAnted
Aur Niche Paanch Hazar Rupae Ka Inaam Hai.



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Sitaro main dekha to tum nazar aaye,
Badlo Main Dekha To Tum Nazar aaye
Jidhar bhi dekha tum nazar aaye,
thoda Dur to hat jao, taki
koi aur b nazar aaye


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Dil Ko Dekh Chehara Na Dekh,
Chehre pe kalikh putwa diya!
Arey Bewafa pahchaan mujhe! Main woh hi hun
Jise tere Baap ne Sar-e-aam Pitwa diyaa!


----------------------------------------------------------


Woh jab chalti hai to raahon main 100-100 ke note bichhaa deta hoon
Woh jab chalti hai to raahon main 100-100 ke note bichhaa deta hoon

Uske jaane ke baad woh sab note utha leta hoon..


----------------------------------------------------------


Arz kiya hai....
Tumko dekha....tumko dekha...
tumko dekha....to yeh khayal aaya
paaglon ke stock mein naya maal aaya!

-----------------------------------------------------------


Itne kamjor ho gaye teri judai se,
Itne kamjor ho gaye teri judai se....
Ki saala ek din macchar hi utha le gaya charpai se....


------------------------------------------------------


Hothon se jo chhoo liya..., Ehsaas ab tak hai...'

Aankhein nam hai, Aur saanso mein Aag ab tak hain...,

Aur kyon na ho, Janaab...

Khaayi bhi to 'HARI MIRCHI' -hai..!!!


-------------------------------------------------------


Bhool se kabhi hamein bhi yaad kiya karo...,

Pyaar nahi to Shikaayat hi kiya karo...;

Itna bhi geir na samjho ki baat hi na kiya karo...,

Phone nahi to OFFLINER hi diya karo..!!!


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Kal jab raste se ja raha tha to tumko dekha
Kal jab raste se ja raha tha to tumko dekha

aur socha

tum ghar se mat niklo,
tum ghar se mat niklo,

Agar Nikal gayi to ye bedard zamana kahega

Who let the dogs out...who who who

---------------------------------------------------------


Durakht ke paymane pe chilman E husn ka furkat se sharmana...
Durakht ke paymane pe chilman E husn ka furkat se sharmana...
Ye line samajh me aaye to mujhe zaroor batana!!



--------------------------------------------------------


Mere marne ke baad mere doston,
yu aansoo na bahana,
Agar meri yaad aaye to,
sidhe upar chale aana!!


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Unki gali se guzre..ajeeb ittefaq tha
Unki gali se guzre..ajeeb ittefaq tha
Unho ne phool phenka..gamla bhi saath tha!!


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Jab Jab gire Baadal, Teri Yaad aayi
Jhoom ke barsa Saawan, Teri Yaad aayi
Bheega main,lekin phir bhi teri Yaad aayi
Kyon na aaye teri yaad? Tune jo chatri ab tak nahi lautai...

THE PERFECT HUSBAND

there are several men sitting around in the locker room of a private club after exercising. Suddenly a cell phone on one of the benches rings. One of the men picks it up, and the following conversation ensues:

"Hello?"

"Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

"Yes."

"Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you are. I just saw a beautiful mink coat. It's absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?"

"What's the price?"

"Only $1,500.00."

"Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much ... "


"Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2001 models. I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman, and he gave me a really good price ... and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year ... "

"What price did he quote you?"

"Only $60,000 ... "

"OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."


"Great! But before we hang up, something else ... "

"What?"

"It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and I stopped by the real estate agent this morning and saw the house we had looked at last year. It's on sale!! Remember? The one with a pool, English Garden, acre of park area, beachfront property ... "

"How much are they asking?"

"Only $450,000 - a magnificent price ... and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover ... "


"Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid $420,000. OK?"

"OK, sweetie ... Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!"

"Bye ... I do too ... "


The man hangs up, closes the phone's flap, and raises his hand while holding the phone and asks to all those present: "Does anyone know who this phone belongs to?

English v/s Hindi

Ever Wondered..How wud sum common english sayings translate in
hindi???too good hai

Have a nice day! ----- * Achcha din lo!

What's up? ----- *Uppar kya hai?

You're kidding! ----- *Tum bachcha bana rahe ho!

Don't kid me! ----- * Mera bachcha mat banaao!

Cool man! -----* Thandaa aadmi!

Check this out, man! ----* Iskee chaanbeen karo, aadmi!

Don't mess with me, dude.----- * Mere saath gandagi mat karo, e vyakti.

She's so fine! ----- * Woh itnee baareek hai!

Listen buddy, that chick's mine, okay!?----- * Suno dost, woh chooza
mera hai, theek?

Hey good looking; what's cooking? ----* Arrey sundarta ki devi; kya
pakaa rahee ho?

Are you nuts? ----- * Kya aap akhrot hain?

Son of a gun.----- * Bachcha bandook ka.

Rock the party. ---- * Party mein patthar feko.

And the best ones are.....

How do you do? ----- * Kaise karte ho?

Keep in touch...... * Chhoote Raho.

Lets hang out!....*Chalo bahar latakte

some not so known facts

1. Coca-Cola was originally green.
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2. The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
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3.The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with .
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4. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
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5. There are two credit cards for every person in the United States .
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6. TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
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7. Women blink nearly twice as much as men!
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8. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.
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9. It is impossible to lick your elbow.
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10. People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze ,your heart stops for a millisecond.
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11. It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.
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12. The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.
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13. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze , you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.
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14. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from history.
Spades - King David
Clubs - Alexander the Great,
Hearts - Charlemagne
Diamonds - Julius Caesar.
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15. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
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16. If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has a all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural
causes.
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Just Read this its funny

Tamil Nadu, India , well Known Personality,Mr Jeppier,Chairman of Self financing Engineering Colleges Association ,who is always speaking in English … Sathyabama college Students have Collected & published the Book on Jappier's Spoken English … Njoy ………..with his…………..English………….. Sounds fictitious…although highly likely
Now, here are some classic English sentences from the great Mr. Jeppiar.
Mr. Jeppiar talks to his students:
# At the ground: —————– All of you stand in a straight circle. The girl with the mirror please comes her…{Means: girl with specs please come here).
# To a boy, angrily: ——————— I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk?
# While punishing students: ———————– You, rotate the ground four times… You, go and understand the tree… You three of you stand together separately. Why are y ou late - say YES or NO …..(?)
# Sir at his best: ————— Sir had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance, he happened to see one of our boys at the theatre, though the boy did no t see them. So the next day at s school… (to that boy) - "Yesterday I saw you WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre"
# Sir at his best inside the Class room: ———————————————- Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in. Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in. Cut an apple into two halves - I will take the bigger half. Shhh…Quiet, boys…the principal JUST PASSED AWAY in the corridor You, meet me behind the class. (Meaning AFTER the class..) "Both of u three get out of the class." Close the doors of the windows please. I have winter in my nose today… Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver….. Take 5 cm wire of any length….
Last but not the least some Jeppi ar experiences … —————————————————————– Once Sir had come late to a college function, by the time he reached, the function had begun, so he went to the dais, and said, sorry I am late, because on the way my car hit 2 muttons (Meaning goats).
At St. Josephs fresh years day 2003: ———————————————- "No ragging this college. Anybody rag we arrest the police"

IF Bollywood Film star work for call centre

If Bollywood Film star work for call centers…….. Imagine the calls.
Amitabh: Thank you for calling customer care… rishte mein to hum tumhare baap lagate hian filhaal ek customer care rep hain…
Customer: (angrily) I NEED YOUR MANAGER
Amitabh: Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne mere baap ko chor kaha tha.. Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne meri maa ko gaali dekar naukri se nikaal diya tha.. Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne mere haath pe yeh likh diya tha… uske baad uske baad mere bhai.. Tum jis manager ko kahoge main laaonga.
Dharmendra: Thank you for calliiiiingg..
Customer: I need help
Dharmendra: main aaraahoon maa…….
Customer: I am unable to use your product… its waste and worthless
Dharmendra: Kutte mein tera khoon peejaaonga..
Customer: What!!! I need your manager
Dharmendra: (To his manager) Manager is customer ke saamne nahi naachna
Shatru : Aaaaaiiin Kis ullllu ke patthe ne call kiya hai…
Customer : How dare you speak like that
Shatru : Khaaaamoshhhhh… seedhi tarah bolde issue kya hai warna… haaaaaaaaa!!!
Asrani: hahhaaaaaaa naya kabutar ne call kiya
Customer: I lost my invoice
Asrani : Hahhaaaaaaaa hamare jasoos kone kone mein phaile hue hain miljayegi hum angrezon ke zamaane ke rep hain..haahhaaa
Kestu Mukherji: Iiiiiihhhhye….
Customer: hi
Kestu Mukherji : iiiihhhyeee tumko ….tumko kya problem hai
Customer : I have not received my product
Kestu Mukherji : To saale (hicup) main kya karoon.. Police mien report likha…
Bindu: Shabnam naam hai mera… pyar se log shabbo bolte hain..bolo main  tumhare kis kaam aasakti hoon.
Shakti: AAAuuuuuu…mera naam hai balllllllllma. Thank you for calling aaauuuuu
Customer: I need your manager
Shakti: Mujhse baat karona.. Main ek chhota sa, nanha sa, pyarasa…rep hooon..
Mehmood: Ayyo Dyevi … thank youji for calling ji.. Ayyo
Customer : I am not devi
Mehmood : Ayyo muruga… ye dyevi nai ji … ye to dyeva hai…
Ajit: Saara shehar mujhe Lion ke naam se jaanta hai….. May I know your name please
Customer : Mona
Ajit: Mona darling… tumne hamein call kyun kiya
Customer : (Angrily) I WANT YOUR MANAGER
Ajit: Mona dear.. Agar hum tumhe hamara manager dedenge to hamein manage kaun karega….
Gabbar : HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ….Jo dargaya wo maraga… batao tumhen kya chahiye
Customer : I want to buy a product from your company
Gabbar: Kitne paise hai re
Customer : $ 10.00
Gabbar: Suvvar Ke baccho … sirf… $10.00…dhikkaar hai
Prem Chopra: Prem…Prem naam hai mera.. Prem chopra…
Customer : I lost my invoice I need one
Prem Chopra: Kar bhalaa to ho bhalaa..jaa apni invoice khud dhoondle
Rajkumar : Jaani ….. Tumhara ye call bahut keemti hai.. Ise cut mat karna
Customer: I lost my invoice
Rajkumar: Jaani… ye invoice hai.. Bacchon ke khelne ki cheez nahi
Customer : shut up.. I need my invoice sent to me in 10 minutes… otherwise I will speak to your manager
Rajkumar : Dhamki kisi aur ko jaakar dena… manager humko darasake
manager mein itna dum nahi… humse hai manager… manager se hum nahi…
And at last ………………
Sharukh: Thank you for kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
Customer hung up the phone….

Sardar 's Blunders

Sardar's Blunders
Santa Singh was travelling in a crowded bus. He was carrying the passport
size photograph
of his son (for college admission). Accidently,the photo fell down from
his pocket.
He started searching for it frantically & found it on the floor, below the
ends of a woman's saree.
He asked her "Can you lift that saree? I wanna take a photograph"
  The rest is history. He was beaten so badly that he had to be admitted
to hospital.

He was surprised to see Banta Singh on the bed next to him,in a worse
condition.
  Banta explained what happened to him He had gone to a remote
village to work. He finished late and missed the last bus.
He couldn't find any hotel. So he approached a nearby house
and asked the Owner whether he can stay there for the night.
The Owner replied "I have 2 grown up daughters. Sorry,I can't a
llow you to stay". He approached the next house and asked whether
he can stay there for the night. The Owner replied,"I have 3 grown up
daughters.Sorry,I can't allow you to stay". He went to the next
house and asked:" Do you have "grown up" Daughters?".
The Owner asked,"WHY?????????"

Banta replied," I wanted to stay here for a night....."
The rest is history.

Sardar's Cancer
Santa Singh went to his doctor after a long illness. The doctor,
after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked Santa Singh in the eye
and said, "I've some bad news for you... you have cancer and it can't
be cured. I'd give you two weeks to a month." Santa Singh, shocked
and saddened by the news, but of solid character, managed to compose
himself and walk from the doctor's office into the waiting room. There
he saw his son who had been waiting. Santa Singh said, "Puttar, we
Surds celebrate when things are good and celebrate when things don't
go so well. In this case, things aren't so well. I have cancer and
I've been given a short time to live. Let's head for the pub and have
a few pints." After three or four pints, the two were feeling a little
less somber. There were some laughs and more beers. They were
eventually approached by some of Santa Singh's old friends who asked
what the two were celebrating.

Santa Singh told them that the Surds celebrate the good and the bad.
He went on to tell them that they were drinking to his impending end.
He told his friends "I've only got few weeks to live as I have been
diagnosed with AIDS." The friends gave Santa Singh their condolences
and they had a couple more beers.

After his friends left, Santa Singh's son leaned over and
whispered his confusion, "Dad, I thought you said that you were
dying from cancer? You just told your friends that you were dying from
AIDS!"
  Santa Singh said, " I am dying from cancer, puttar. I just don't want
any of them around your mother after I'm gone."


Two Sardars and their Horses
Then there were two sardars, Zail singh & Jarnail singh.
  Both of them bought a horse each.
"How will we know which is your & which is mine?" asked Zail."Easy"
replied
Jarnail. "I'll cut mine's tail,yours will be the one with tail"

This was heard by a few boys ,they cut the other's tail too.
Next morning the confusion continued.
"Don't worry "retorted Jarnail.
"I'll tie a bell around its neck, yours will be the one without the
bell."

The boys heard this also & cut the bell. The next day, Zail
got frustrated & said "Okay now the last criterion, white will be yours
& black will be mine

little johny's brother :-) :-)

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch. The woman's husband also comes home.

She puts her lover in the cupboard, not realising that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says, "Dark in here."

The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a football."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "£250"

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the cupboard together.

Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have football boots."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"

Boy - £750"

Man - "Sold."

A few days later, the boys father says to the boy, "Grab your boots and football, let's go outside and have a game of soccer.

The boy says, "I can't, I sold my ball and boots." The father asks, "How much did you
sell them for?"

Boy -"£1,000."
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."

The priest says, "Don't start that shit again. You're in my cupboard now"!!

Dinner with the Girlfriend's Parents!!!

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner
with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to
her boyfriend that after dinner, she would
   like to go out and make love for the first time.

   Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he
takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps
the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know
about condoms and sex.

   At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd
like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the
family pack because he thinks he will be rather
   busy, it being his first time and all.

   That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets
his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my
parents, come on in!"

   The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the
girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his
head.

   A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head
down.

   10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

   Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans
over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this
religious."

   The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a
pharmacist."

Logic

A man and his wife were in a court for their divorce case. The problem
was who should get custody of the child.

The wife screamed and jumped up and said: "Your Honor. I brought the
child into the world with all the pain and labor. The child  should be in
my custody."

The judge turned to the husband and said: "What do you have to say in
your defense?"

The man sat for a while contemplating...then slowly rose. "Your
Honor... If I put a dollar in a Pepsi Vending Machine and a Pepsi  comes
out... Whose Pepsi is it... the machine's or mine?"

Good One(enjoy)

 Man discovered COLORS and invented PAINT,
   Woman discovered PAINT and invented MAKEUP.

   Man discovered the WORD and invented CONVERSATION,
   Woman discovered CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP.

   Man discovered AGRICULTURE and invented FOOD,
   Woman discovered FOOD and invented DIET.

   Man discovered   FRIENDSHIP   and invented LOVE,
   Woman discovered LOVE and invented LOVE TRIANGLES.

   Man discovered TRADING and invented MONEY,
   Woman discovered MONEY and invented SHOPPING.

   Thereafter man has discovered and invented a lot of things... While
   women STUCK to shopping... !!!

U need some treatment

Once a man went to a Veterinary (Animal) Doctor and said: Doctor I came on vacation so that I can get treated.

Doctor: I think you should go to the Doctor opposite to my clinic

Man: No, I am coming to you.

Doctor: But, I am a Veterinary Doctor. I am an animal specialist.

Man: I know, but I want you to treat me.

Doctor: I cannot, because you speak like me and think like me which means you are a human, not an animal.

Man:      I know I am same and I am a human but the problem is

        I get up in the morning like a horse

        I go to work like a deer

        I work all day like a donkey

        I wag my tail in front of my manager like a dog

        I play with my children like a monkey

        I am like a rabbit in front of my wife

Doctor asked: Do you work in Software Company

Man: Yes

Doctor yelled: Come Dear, no body will treat you better than me.

NICE STORY

Many, many years ago
When I was twenty three,
I got married to a widow,
Pretty as could be.
This widow had a grown-up daughter
With flowing hair of red.
My father fell in love with her,
And soon the two were wed.
This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life.
Now my daughter was my mother,
For she was my father's wife.
To complicate the matters worse,
Although it brought me joy.
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy.
My little baby then became
A brother-in-law to dad.
And so became my uncle,
Though it made me very sad.
For if he was my uncle,
Then that also made him brother
To the widow's grown-up-daughter
Who, of course, was my step-mother.
Father's wife then had a son,
Who kept them on the run.
And he became my grandson,
For he was my daughter's son.
My wife is now my mother's mother
And it makes me blue.
Because, although she is my wife,
She's my grandma too.
If my wife is my grandmother,
Then I am her grandchild.
And every time I think of it,
It simply drives me wild.
For now I have become
The strangest case you ever saw.
As the husband of my grandmother,
I am my own grandpa!

A haircut

There  was a good old barber in Bangalore. One day a
  florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the
barber
  and the barber replies:

  I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am  doing
  a Community Service.
  Florist is happy and leaves the shop.



  The next morning when the Barber goes to open his
  shop, there is a "Thank You" Card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.



   A Confectioner goes for a haircut and he also goes  to
   pay the barber he  again refuses to take the money. The Confectioner is
   happy and leaves the  shop.





   The next morning when the Barber goes to open his
   shop, there is another  "Thank you" Card and a dozen Cakes waiting at his
   door.





   A Software Engineer goes for a haircut and he also  goes to pay the
barber
   again refuses the money saying that it was a  community
   service.


The next morning when the Barber goes to open his
   shop, guess what he finds  there......





   Scroll down for answer... . . . . . . .. . . . ...
   .
   (Believe me it's worth!!!!!!!!!!)


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   A Dozen Software engineers waiting for a free
   haircut... with Printouts of
   forwarded mail mentioning about free haircut

Tummy Singing -- Best Video Ever

shaadi.com ka ladoo

These are ads taken from shaadi.com - guys searching for brides..

These are actual ads on a matrimony site. Grammar and spell errors have
no place in a profile description as everything is straight from the
heart!

Disclaimer : I am not responsible if you forget your basic grammar after
reading this.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- Hello To Viewers My Name is Shekhar , I am single i don't have female,
If anyone want to Marie to me u can visit to my home. I am not a good
education but i working all field in bangalroe.. if u like me u welcome
to my heart...when ever u want to meet pls visit my resident or send u
letter.. Thanks yours Regards Shekhar ~*~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i want very simple girl. from brahmin educated family from orissa state
she is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework

(Homework?)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wants a woman who knows me better and can adjust with me forever. she
may never create any difficulties in my life or her life by which the
entire life can run smoothly. thank you

(The principle of running life smoothly was never so easy!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

she should be good looking and should have a service. she Should have
one brother and one sister. she should be educated.

(ain't it unique !! 1 brother 1 sister criteria !)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I
love to make friendship. Because friendship is a first step of love. I
am looking for my dreamgirl who will love me more than i. Because i love
myself a lot. If u think that is u then why to late come on ........hold
my hand forever !!!

(The dilwale dulhaniya effect)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i am simple boy.I have lot of problem in my life because of my luck now
i am looking one gal she care me and love me lot lot lot

(I don't know why but this is one of my favorites)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My wife should be as 'Shivani' as in Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki and as Tanwerr
as in KSBKBT......

(Ok I haven't seen these soaps but I am sure he must be demanding too
much,ain't he?)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i want a girl  with no drinks if she wants she can wear jeans in house
but while stepping out of house she should give respect to our cast

(by not wearing her jeans? Wat the hell...)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING BOY,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO
LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL
MESSENGER OF GOD. THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A GIRL ,THEY ARE 1.THEY
MUST BELIEVE IN GOD.2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION AND THEY SHOULD
NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LOUGH.

(all of us are loughing{laughing})

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

whatever she may be but she should feel that she is going to be someone
bride  and she must think of the future life if she is too like this she
would be called the woman of the lamp

(I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this boy wants)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and i love
thepatner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate ok

(I am again clueless but I liked the use of "ok". The person is
suffering from "Ok-syndrome")

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

HI IAM VERY COOL NUATHER OK MY HOBBY IS SEE T.V AND NEWS OK I HAVE 1 CAR
AND 1 BONWL OK MY MOTHER ALSO GOOD OK MY FARUET WORLD IS OK

(the "ok syndrome" again)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am pran my family history my two brother two sister and Father&mother
sister complity marred

(somebody please explain in comments section how to get married
'completely'?)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

iam very simpel and hanest. i have three sister one brother and parent.
iam doing postal sarvice and tailor master my original resdence at
kalahandi diste naw iam staing at rayagada dist.

(actually what is this guy doing? Postal service or tailor.??)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

my name is muhamad and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige me pleaes
pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes

(height of desperation! J )

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Iwant one girl who love me or my mother. she love me heartly or she
havea frank she's skin colour 'normal'not a black or not a whitey.
IThink the main think is heart if your heart is beautiful then you are
beautiful.
but iam not a handsome guy or not a good looking. but my Mom say that
Iam a good guy. My father already expired . THE CHOICE IS YOUR.
bye bye.

(uttama purushan)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

iam kanan. i do owo businas.one sistar.he was marred.

(No comments)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I AM LITTLE FAIR INDIAN COLOUR. I DON'T HAVE ANY HABIT.

(maybe the poor guy meant BAD habits)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

hello i am a good charactarised man. i want to run my life happily.i
divorced my first wife.her charactor is not good'. i expect the good
minded and clean habits girl who may be in the same caste or other caste
accepted ...

(but credit cards not accepted..???)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

my colour is black,but my heart is white.i like social service
(Zebra..???)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i'm looking out for who lives in bombay, girl simple who trust me lot
should be roman catholic, LOVE ME ONLY.

(Now that criterion is a must, isn't it?)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

to be married on jan-2006. working woman perferable

(this guy has fixed the marriage date too! But he is yet to find a
bride.I wish him best of luck on behalf of all of us. I am sure he will
get one soon.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i would like a beautyfull girl. and i do not want her any treasure.
because girl is the maharani.

(Now she is going to be a lucky girl! Any takers?)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ssc failed three times and worked with privated ltd company which not
paying salary at present.

(Any takers again?)

The Innocent turtle

Once 3 Turtles decided to go on a picnic.

When they got there, they realized that they had forgotten the soda.

The youngest turtle said he would go home & get it if they wouldn't eat the snacks until he got back.

A week went by,

then a month,

finally a year,

the 2 turtles said 'oh, come on, lets eat the snacks'

.
.
.
.

.
.
..

.
..
.
.
suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said 'if you do like this, I won't go!'

A real story

This happened about a month or two ago near Lonavala, and even though
it sounds like something out of the X Files or from Alfred Hitchcock
Presently... it's real ! This guy drives from Mumbai to Pune and decides
not
to take the new expressway as he wants to see the scenery. The
inevitable happens and when he reaches the ghats his car breaks down -
he's
stranded miles from nowhere. Having no choice he starts walking on the
side of the road, hoping to get a lift to the nearest human
habitation. It's dark and raining and pretty soon he's wet and
shivering. The night rolls on and no car goes by, the monsoon rains are
so strong he can hardly see a few feet ahead of him.
Suddenly he sees a car coming towards him. It slows and then stops next
to him - without thinking the guy opens the car's door and jumps in.
Seated in the back, he leans forward to thank the person who had saved
him when he realizes there is nobody behind the wheel!!!
Even though there's no one in the front seat and no sound of any
engine, the car starts moving slowly. The guy looks at the road ahead
and
sees a curve coming (remember, this is in the hills and there is a
steep,
steep drop beyond the curve). Scared almost to death he starts to pray,
begging the Lord for his life. He hasn't come out of shock, when just
before he hits the curve, a hand appears through the window and moves
the wheel! The car makes the curve safely and continues on the road to
the next bend. The guy, now paralyzed in terror, watches how the hand
appears every time they are before acurve and moves the steering wheel
just enough to get the car around each bend. Finally, the guy sees
lights
ahead. Gathering his courage he wrenches open the door of the silent,
slowly
moving car, scrambles out and runs as hard as he can towards the lights.

It's a small town. Wet and in shock goes to a roadside dhabba, which is
open, and asks for a drink. They find some hooch and give him a shot.
And he starts telling whoever is in the dhabba about the horrible
experience he's just been through. A silence envelops everybody when
they
realize the guy isn't drunk, and is really frightened - he's crying and
shaking. So they give him more hooch and talk about what they should do,
whether to call the police or find a priest, or what.

But just then two guys(santa & banta) walk into the dhabba. One says to
the other "Look, Banta - that's the guy who got in our car when we were
pushing it."

Hotel California - punjabi style

On the dark GT highway , Big Pagdi on my  hair
Warm smell from some dhabas , Rising up in the air
Up ahead in the  distance ,I saw a thharra joint
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim ,I  must have
drunk over a pint

There he stood in the  drive way ,I heard a truck
driver yell
And I was thinking to  myself ,This had to be Devinder
Singh Behl
Then he  belched and scratched his head, Standing on
the highway
And the  drivers leaning from their truck car doors ,
I thought I heard  them say.....

Welcome to the hotel Karnal-afonia ,
Vaddi  changi place (vaddi changi place) Vaddi changi
place

Massage, manicure, pedicure at Karnal-afonia,
Any kind of ear (any  kind of ear) , You can clean it
here

His car's grill was definitely  twisted ,His Maruti's
got some bends
He's got a lot of really petty MLAs ,  Whom he calls
friends
Dancing bhangra in the courtyard , See  surdie sweat
Some dancer is this Devinder , Keeps dancing  till
he's wet

So I told the bell captain, I made a  reservation
online
And he said, oye khoteya our internet hasnt  worked at
all Since 1999,

And still those drivers were calling  from the
driiiive way
Woke me in the middle of the night, I know I  heard
them say

Welcome to the hotel  Karnal-afonia, Itthey karlo rest
(itthey karlo
rest)Itthey  karlo rest,
Aish karo at the hotel Karnal-afonia Kudi  umar baeeis
(kudi umar baeeis)
,
Will serve you nice
Daler on  the ceiling, And on the walls in every guise
Waitresses dressed like  actresses, From flicks of
Subhash Ghai's
And in the downstairs  canteen, I sat down for my meal
Butter chicken, and sarson da saag, the scene  was
very surreal

Looking for help I saw Devinder, Dancing wildly on the
 floor
I had to find my hostess back, Oh where was  Manpreet
Kaur?
Relax said Milkha Singh, Play golf with my son  Jeev
Tu ban gaya Punjab da puttar , Now you cant  ever
leave

So here I am,
Wasting life at the Hotel  Karnal-afonia
Vaddi changi place (vaddi changi place)Vaddi  changi
place
Now I'm a member of Hotel Karnal-afonia
Whoever  arrives (whoever arrives) Stays till he dies
!!!

lolz.. da best one yet!

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other
stall saying:   

"Hi, how are you?"

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the men's restroom
but I don't know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed, "Doin' just fine!"

And the other guy says: "So what are you up to?"

What kind of question is that?  At that point, I'm thinking this
is too bizarre so I say:  "Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling!"

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I
hear another question.   "Can I come over?"

Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could
just be polite and end the conversation.  I tell him, "No........I'm a little busy right now!!!"

Then I hear the guy say nervously...

"Listen, I'll have to call you back.  There's an idiot in the other
stall who keeps answering all my questions!!!"

Indian supremacy

After digging to a depth of 100 metres last year,Russian scientists found traces of copper wire
dating back 1000 years, and came to the conclusion that their ancestors
already had a telephone network one thousand years ago.
So, not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed, American scientists dug 200 metres and
headlines in the US papers read: " US scientists have found traces of 2000 year
old optical fibres, and haveconcluded that their ancestors already had
advanced high-tech digital telephone 1000 years earlier than the Russians."
One week later, the Indian newspapers reported the
following:
"After digging as deep as 500 metres, Indian
scientists have found absolutely nothing. They have concluded that
5000 years ago, their ancestors were already using wireless technology..

Deadliest PJS!!!!

Ek aadmi bank se bahar aake ek auto mein chada....autowala usko uska ghar
ley
gaya aur 100 rs liya. Jabki actually, it wouldn't have costed more

than 10 rs. Agle din, subah jab woh aadmi jagaa, he was not able to see
anything. Kuch bhi nahin dikh raha tha. But then, raat hote hi, uski aankh
theekh ho gayi and he was able to see everything clearly.

WHY?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Kyonki autowaale ne us aadmi ko ULLOO bana diya tha!!!

------------------------------

----------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------------------

Ek Gadha ped par chadha to oopar baithe haathi ne poochha:

Haathi: Tu kyun chadha ?

Gadha: Apple khaane

Haathi: Lekin yeh to Mango tree hai !!

Gadha: Maloom hai, main apple saath laaya hoon!!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------------------

What is the height of technology ?????????















.



.



.



.



.



.









Ankhiyon se goli maare.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------------------

Why didn't Wahida Rehman change her clothes in the song 'gata rahe mera
dil',
though heroines change dresses 3-4 times in any typical Hindi song???













.



.



.



.



.



.









Bcoz Dev Anand sings in the song
"O mere humrahi, meri banh thame chalna, Badle dunia 'saree' tum na
badlna!!!!"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------------------

1)smoking
2)drinking
3)charas
4)ganja
5)chikan
6)mutton
7)masala
8)oily food
9)sleep and obesity
10)pollution=

"HEART ATTACK"

dus bahane karke le gaya dil.....le gaya dil...dus bahane karke le gaya dil

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------------------

Munna: Abay Circuit! Jaa baajoo waley ghar say Doctor ko bula k laa, meri
tabiat
kharab ho reli hai.

Circuit: Aey Bhai ! aap to khud doctor ho.

Munna: Bolay to meri fees buhat zyada hai.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------------------

Kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khayaal aata hai..

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.kabhi kabhi nahin bhi aata hai....!!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------------------

Teacher:"u have to aim for 90%marks."
Student:"Don't worry sir I'll get 100%marks."

Teacher:"mazak kyun kar rahe ho?"
Student:"mazak shuru kisne kiya tha???




|--------------------------------------------------------------------------|
| How do u CUT roads?????                                                  |
| >                                                                        |
| >By LAUGHING.....                                                        |
| >Because "Haste Haste Cut jayein Raste"                                  |
| >
| >---------------------------------------------------------------------
| >-|
| ----                                                                     |
| >                                                                        |
| >A beggar meets another beggar.                                          |
| >A software engineer meets another software engineer.                    |
| >Both of them ask the same question to each other.                       |
| >What is the question ???                                                |
| >                                                                        |
| >So, Which Platform are you Working on ???....                           |
| >------------------------------------------------------------------------|
| --                                                                       |
| >                                                                        |
| >Question: What will u call a person who is                              |
| >leaving India??                                                         |
| >                                                                        |
| >Answer : Hindustan Lever (Leaver).                                      |
| >                                                                        |
| >Question: What will u call a person who leaves India,but doesn't        |
| >travel                                                                  |
| >much??                                                                  |
| >                                                                        |
| >Answer: Hindustan Lever Ltd (Limited).                                  |
| >
| >|
| >------------------------------------------------------------------------|
| --                                                                       |
| >                                                                        |
| >                                                                        |
| >                                                                        |
| >Q -Kalidas ka ek bhai jootey banata tha us ka naam kya tha ?            |
| >                                                                        |
| >Ans: Adidas.                                                            |
| >                                                                        |
| >
| >|
| >------------------------------------------------------------------------|
| --                                                                       |
| >
| >| Q - What is similarity between "Satynarayan Pooja" and "Indian
| >Cricket  |
| Team"                                                                    |
| >                                                                        |
| >Ans: Dono ke end me "Prasad" aataa hai                                  |
| >
| >|
| >------------------------------------------------------------------------|
| --                                                                       |
| >Q - Who is Joe?                                                         |
| >                                                                        |
| >A - "Kambakth ishq" - Because "Kambakth ishq hai  Joe!"                 |
| >
| >|
| >------------------------------------------------------------------------|
| --                                                                       |
| >                                                                        |
| >                                                                        |
| >And of course, the grand finale............The                          |
| >Madrasi said, I want to                                                 |
| >see the movie 'heart is umbrella'. Which movie did                      |
| >he really want to see?                                                  |
| >                                                                        |
| >Dil Chhata Hai.......                                                   |
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Definition of kiss

 Definition of kiss
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Prof .of Economics
Kiss is that thing for which the demand is aways higher than the supply.

Prof. of Accountancy
Kiss is a credit because it is profitable when returned.

Prof. of Algebra
Kiss is infinity because two divided by nothing.

Prof. of Geometry
Kiss is the shortest distance between two lips.

Prof. of Physics
Kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the expansion of the heart.


Prof. of Zoology
Kiss is the interchange of salivary bacteria.

Prof. of Physiology
Kiss is the juxtaposition of two orbicularisoris muscles in the state of contraction.


Prof. of Philosophy
Kiss is the persecution for the child, ecstasy for the youth and homage for the old.

Prof. of English
Kiss is a noun that is used as a conjunction, it is more common than proper, it is spoken in the plural and it is applicable to all.

Prof. of Comp.Science
What is a kiss? It seems to be an undefined variable

It only happens in mumbai